Why “Having it All” is BS


Having it all. We love the sound of that phrase. For whatever reason, this notion of ‘having it all’ seems to be what drives us in our careers, our relationships, our fitness journeys – it’s that end result that we all seem to be striving for. But let’s be real, it’s unattainable. Yet, it seems like something that all of us still continue to strive for, even knowing that plain and simple it’s never going to happen.

The problem is that it’s subjective – the whole having your life together thing. Some people don’t give a shit about making money as long as they’re working in a field they love. Some people don’t really care about having a lot of friends if they’re working their way up the corporate ladder. And some people really don’t care about being fit as long as they’re mentally and spiritually happy and healthy. It’s different for every single one of us.

Regardless, we still compare and compare…and compare again. We look longingly at the ‘hot mom’ with three kids, a gorgeous husband, the perfect home and great girlfriends; the twenty-something who has worked her way up through three promotions, just got engaged (and damn, look at that rock!) and is going on vacation to Bora Bora next week, and we think “what if?” What if I got to have their life, their successes, their boyfriend/girlfriend/house, etc… The list goes on.

I deleted Snapchat because of this. I usually get the “Whaaat – why?!” reaction when I tell anyone that I no longer have the most favorited social app among all millennials, but it wasn’t enriching my life. There were nights I’d be perfectly fine and cool sitting at home with a glass of wine alone watching Gossip Girl and then I’d watch a Story or two of some girl I knew in college on vacation in Mexico or my friends out somewhere having a blast, and I’d suddenly feel really down about what once was my ideal plan for that night. The comparison game is just a downward spiral.

We’re inundated with constant updates of what everyone else is doing and obviously, it’s everyone’s highlight reel that’s out there on social media – not their boring nights in or their breakouts or break-ups. It’s funny because we all know this, yet it still affects us all at some point.

So how do we stop? To be honest, I’m still figuring it out. I’m still trying to learn how to just be content and at peace, and I think it’s a work in progress for all of us. I think that being aware, and understanding yourself is key in moving forward and cutting the crap. I’d say that’s a pretty good first step.

I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like I needed a pep talk. A swift kick in the ass to stop stressing out about this idea of having it all and how do I get there and what do I need to do to get there. I hope, if anything, you’re inspired to look at your life and reflect on where you are and how far you’ve come, and to know that you are doing just fine, wherever you are in life in this moment.

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