Why “Having it All” is BS

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Having it all. We love the sound of that phrase. For whatever reason, this notion of ‘having it all’ seems to be what drives us in our careers, our relationships, our fitness journeys – it’s that end result that we all seem to be striving for. But let’s be real, it’s unattainable. Yet, it seems like something that all of us still continue to strive for, even knowing that plain and simple it’s never going to happen.

The problem is that it’s subjective – the whole having your life together thing. Some people don’t give a shit about making money as long as they’re working in a field they love. Some people don’t really care about having a lot of friends if they’re working their way up the corporate ladder. And some people really don’t care about being fit as long as they’re mentally and spiritually happy and healthy. It’s different for every single one of us.

Regardless, we still compare and compare…and compare again. We look longingly at the ‘hot mom’ with three kids, a gorgeous husband, the perfect home and great girlfriends; the twenty-something who has worked her way up through three promotions, just got engaged (and damn, look at that rock!) and is going on vacation to Bora Bora next week, and we think “what if?” What if I got to have their life, their successes, their boyfriend/girlfriend/house, etc… The list goes on.

I deleted Snapchat because of this. I usually get the “Whaaat – why?!” reaction when I tell anyone that I no longer have the most favorited social app among all millennials, but it wasn’t enriching my life. There were nights I’d be perfectly fine and cool sitting at home with a glass of wine alone watching Gossip Girl and then I’d watch a Story or two of some girl I knew in college on vacation in Mexico or my friends out somewhere having a blast, and I’d suddenly feel really down about what once was my ideal plan for that night. The comparison game is just a downward spiral.

We’re inundated with constant updates of what everyone else is doing and obviously, it’s everyone’s highlight reel that’s out there on social media – not their boring nights in or their breakouts or break-ups. It’s funny because we all know this, yet it still affects us all at some point.

So how do we stop? To be honest, I’m still figuring it out. I’m still trying to learn how to just be content and at peace, and I think it’s a work in progress for all of us. I think that being aware, and understanding yourself is key in moving forward and cutting the crap. I’d say that’s a pretty good first step.

I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like I needed a pep talk. A swift kick in the ass to stop stressing out about this idea of having it all and how do I get there and what do I need to do to get there. I hope, if anything, you’re inspired to look at your life and reflect on where you are and how far you’ve come, and to know that you are doing just fine, wherever you are in life in this moment.

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What I Learned in 2016

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As we close out another year, I think it’s important to take a step back and check in with yourself. It’s amazing how much growth we can experience in just one year, 365 days. It’s incredible how much can change, yet how much can stay the same.

Last year at this time, I was in a job I hated feeling unfulfilled and exhausted; in a living situation that was not ideal for me; overall unmotivated and uninspired.

While 2016 didn’t magically solve all of my problems, I can definitely say that it’s taught me a hell of a lot. There are so many things that I want to do; that I want to become; and that I want to manifest in my life. I feel like there’s so much more.

Anyone else feeling this way?

Maybe it’s just that high of a new year, a chance to start over. But why not? With all of the motivation around us to get in shape; to ask for that promotion; to start a side hustle – is there any better time to start working toward the goals we’ve always wanted to accomplish?

These are the key takeaways I’ve learned in this past year:

First of all, ignorance is not bliss.

When it comes to what we put in our bodies (food, drinks, supplements, etc.), ignorance is most definitely not bliss. This year, more than any year before, I’ve learned the importance of reading labels, understanding ingredients and getting real with yourself. One of my main resolutions in 2017 is to stick to real, whole foods as much as possible. This means I can still have pizza, pasta, cheese, brownies (!) – as long as they’re made from real ingredients. Obviously I preach balance, and you better believe I practice it, but as I’ve gotten older, I have 100% noticed how much the food I eat affects how I feel. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather feel full of energy and have clear skin rather than feeling dehydrated, hungover or bloated from too much cheese or salt. Gross.

Change in relationships is inevitable.

I won’t lie, I had a difficult time this year accepting change in some of my relationships. I was so used to how things used to be growing up and throughout college, and moving away (although it was two and a half years ago now) really hit me hard. Sure, some relationships fall by the wayside and that’s okay. Sometimes shit just happens and you become different people. But after examining the relationships I have and the ones I’m building, I feel much more at peace with the fact that change is just a part of our lives and sometimes works on your relationships for the better. 

Finding a workout you love can be all the inspiration you need. 

I’ll be honest, I’ve been in a workout rut probably for the past year. I’ve been jumping around so much I feel like the damn Energizer Bunny. So, here’s my plan for 2017: cut the shit, find a workout(s) I enjoy and get inspired and consistent again. While I still worked out 5-6 times a week in 2016, I never really felt as motivated as I did when I finished a kickass spin class or a barre workout that had me shaking the whole time. There’s just something about finding a workout you actually enjoy that I think is crucial to a healthy lifestyle. 

Sometimes, less is more. 

I am someone who is really uncomfortable when I’m not busy. If I’m not working, I’m cleaning my apartment or running errands; If I’m not writing a blog post, I’m cleaning out my closet or folding laundry. I’ve noticed this more and more about myself this year and let’s be honest – this mentality leads to burnout. It’s pretty much a given.

I try really hard to allow time for myself to just chill out and relax, but most of the time I’m in go-go-go mode. However, I have to recharge to be at my best so it’s a bit counterintuitive, don’t you think? Sometimes we all need a little reminder that doing less often will provide more in our lives.

I would love to hear what you learned in 2016. The good, the bad, the ugly. What are your resolutions?

I’m off to go nosh on some Chocolate Almond Butter Maca Balls (recipe coming soon!) and some peppermint tea. Night babes!

4 Tips to Avoid the Holiday Packing Stress

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The tree is up, the hot cocoa is flowin’ and Elf is on repeat. How about y’all?

I am so excited for Christmas and can’t wait to be home in sunny Florida celebrating it with my family. As I pack for my long weekend ahead, I put together a few tried and true tips that I use whenever I’m packing for a trip that I thought would be helpful for you all as you pack your suitcases for the holidays.

Make a list.

You guys probably know by now how Type A I am, but having a list can seriously help eliminate some of the stress of packing. When you’re packing for a trip, make a list of what you’ll be doing and what exactly you’ll need. Here’s an example:

Saturday

  • AM: workout outfit
  • Lunch: cute shorts/top OR maxi dress
  • Dinner on the beach: flowy skirt + top

Sunday

  • AM: bathing suit + cover-up
  • PM: comfy, cute outfit for bon fire

+ contact lenses

+ books

+ iPad

+ steamer

As you pull things out and put them in your ‘pack this’ pile, cross off your list. I also always pull out everything I’m going to pack before it starts going in the suitcase, that way it’s easier to tell if I’m forgetting something.

Choose your shoes.

Pick two or three (or four) pairs of shoes, tops. You just simply do not need to bring all ten pairs of your booties on your trip. Select a few versatile pairs of shoes and build your outfits based on what will look cute with them. Whenever I travel home, I typically pack my sneakers, a pair of heels or wedges (maybe booties or OTK boots if you’re traveling somewhere cold) that I can wear with multiple outfits and a pair of casual sandals for daytime.

Plan your outfits.

Put together at least a few key outfits you plan to wear before they go into your bag. Rather than just throwing all of your cute tops and fave pairs of jeans in your bag, build out your outfits before they make it into your suitcase. This should really help with that chronic overpacking thing we all do…

Downsize your makeup bag.

I have a lot of makeup, but only a handful of products I use on an everyday basis. Think about what you’re going to be doing wherever you’re going and build your makeup bag around the occasion. For example, I highly doubt I’ll be going out while I’m at home for Christmas, so I’ll probably stick to the basics and leave the dark lipstick and grey eyeshadows at home. It’s just not necessary to bring the full gang with you most of the time.

I’d love to hear from you – where are you heading for the holidays? Which of these tips was the most helpful to you?

Hope you all have a beautiful holiday!